Nobody expects the Spanish Inquistion

Hello. Rusty here. I'm very excited today, because Mama told me that we're going to the cabin this weekend and I'm going to get to run around in the woods and get ticks all over me and pee on everything in the woods and sniff everything in the woods and maybe I'll find something dead to roll in and carry around and I'll get to ride in the canoe with Mama and Grandpa and try and eat the fish they catch and oh, my goodness I'm so excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Whew. That was a lot. My real reason for posting tonight (Mama doesn't know I broke into her computer while her back was turned) was that Mama decided to do that stupid online dating thing. I'm frowning about it.

My Mama needs a nice boy, not a stupid boy, but she won't let me check any of the boys out before she meets them. I have standards they have to meet! They can't make my Mama upset or hurt her feelings or anything, because then her face gets all melty and wet. When her face gets all melty and wet, then she wipes it on me because when she's upset she likes to snuggle me. Now, I don't mind snuggling, but the whole melty-wet thing kinda bugs me.

The nice thing is that Mama doesn't need a boy, because she has me. But I guess she kinda wants a person to hang out with occasionally, which is okay with me. As long as she's not cheating on me with other dogs. How would she feel if I cheated on her with other Mamas? I bet she wouldn't like it. But I wouldn't be able to cheat on her with other Mamas, because they wouldn't smell like my Mama and I love my Mama, so I wouldn't cheat.

Okay. I'm sleepy now, and Mama is coming back to her computer, so I have to go. But now you know how I feel. Just don't tell my Mama.

Love,
Rusty